IBM Eye

I like this commercial. It’s kind of funny that it comes from IBM as IBM has been accused of this in the past, but it’s kind of funny.

Steve Jobs’ fake blog did a post Tuesday about IBM and their software growth hype:

You gotta hand it to IBM. No matter how crappy their business is they can always find a chunk of fool’s gold in the pile of dogshit and then get someone in the media (or everyone in the media) to focus on that. Latest example was this story in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal about how IBM’s software division is just setting the world on fire. According to our spies at Fortune, IBM’s flacks have been shopping this story around since January. At last someone bit. Wow, software sales were up 14% in the last quarter and a galloping 7% for the full year, and now Steve Mills is the second coming of Gerstner. Never mind that the way IBM did this was to move some revenue that used to get recognized in other categories over into the “software” division.

A fake celebrity blog is a great idea, and that one’s a lot of fun because the posts really seem to reflect his flair. (another great fake celebrity blog is Drew Bledsoe’s from last year). Anyhow, I kinda feel busted in so far as he’s right about the software growth being in no small way attributable to acquisitions and number tricks. Maybe I did buy into the hype. I guess because I keep an IBM blog and bought in, I’m just a fan boy at this point.

That said, Lotus Notes busted out last quarter, not because of acquisitions or Enron accounting, but due to a solid reputation and a killer offering. I’m still high on Sametime 7.5 too. But all in all, Steve Jobs called me out. Way to go Steve.

Bob Hoey, IBM worldwide vice president of sales, zSeries, makes his comical sales pitch for IBM mainframes.

Mainframe - The Art of the Sale, Lesson One

The other commercials are similar… (more…)

I know this isn’t really relevant and doesn’t help to understand IBM today, but I think it’s fun. It’s a commercial from the 1980s titled “Computers… who’s got time to figure out how to use ‘em”

“We’ve got more computers helping more small businesses than anybody.” It’s been a while since IBM could say something like that.

Thanks to Matthias for his post helping me get the video to embed

From the archives: ZDNet UK has a series of articles from several years ago called “IT Anthems”, which posts official (and very unofficial) anthems from IT companies, old and new.

Of course, one of the favourites is the stirring Ever Onward IBM!, and they even include a sendup of the song (with some rather cynical imagery) in flash format: Ever Onward IBM! Flash

There are plenty of others anthems to listen to as well - including some downright wierd ones! Check out some of ZDNet’s other IT Anthems

This is cute - Japanese Bento Box … IBM style IBM Bento

(via digg)

Uncyclopedia, “the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit”, has an entry for IBM in it’s usual, offbeat style.

IBM - Uncyclopedia

IBM is a non-profit collective of hobbyists who design innovative computer hardware for the common man, whom they refer to as “simpletons” or “dum-dums”.

I’m sure it would be easy enough to add a lot more detail to what’s already on the page!

(via The lost outpost)

Tim over at the Mainframe Weblog has posted a great set of poetry from an IBM Student Mainframe Contest run over the last couple of months.

Big Iron Poetry

As part of the mainframe student contest, some of the 700 college students entered wrote a haiku. Here is a sample:

The wind blows softly
Through the leaves of autumn. wait,
That’s just the mainframe
–Van Landrum, U. of South Alabama

Life on a mainframe
Is the life I want for me
Share my C.P.U.
– Jeffrey Painter, NC State

F3 - Please take me
To a previous menu
And I will thank thee
–Marc Turnes, Northern Illinois U.

There’s a heap more of them in the Mainframe Weblog post.

For those boring conference calls - try some tennis … IBM style.

read more | digg story

I have always had a soft spot for acronyms, and for poking fun at IBM and its over-use of acronyms (and even IBM marketing for attempting to stop technical staff from using them when naming products!!).

Willie Favero has a humorous look at the use of acronyms, especially in the context of relational database technology.

Acronyms

While watching ER last night (Thursday) on TV, I commented on the “foreign” language the doctors and nurses spoke in the emergency room. It sounded like a bunch of meaningless garble. My daughter quickly pointed out to me that I must not listen to myself talk very often. She is so correct. Our industry is terrible about “shortening” words and expressions into acronyms, abbreviations, and initials. In fact, everyone does it today. We speak in strange groupings of vowels and consonants just like the doctors in the television show. So, for this blog entry, I would like to look at “our language”, how we have gone from English (or should it be US American) to IT talk. Gee! How many acronyms is that in one paragraph? ER (Emergency Room), TV (television), US (United States) and IT (Information Technology).